Youlogy

When you don’t know where to start, sometimes it’s good to go to the end and work backwards.

Some find it a good exercise to write their own eulogy, not as a morbid experiment, but to account for and summarize a life’s essence in the span of a page or two. A highlight reel, of sorts. One’s greatest hits of life.

So then, where do we start?

At the end of your days, and may they be a long time from here, what will you want to be remembered about you? What do you want to remember? What fills you, enriches you, when you recall or look forward to it?

What makes you beam?

To be honest, I have always avoided funerals. Avoided hearing eulogies. And I have been told, time and again, how bad it is to avoid such things, how bad it is for familial and business relations, because the people who remain (and not those departed, I’m convinced), notice and judge. They notice and judge you and your absence.

It’s not just that I hide my emotions (I do) and don’t do well in those situations (I don’t), it’s just that I have always believed the end of things here should be a cause of celebration, not of mourning. Tears of joyous memories. An honoring of a spirit that has moved on. Certainly a loss. But only to those who remain.

There are far worse ends than death. A broken spirit. A cowardly worldview. A hateful heart.

But if I were to write my eulogy today, I would say I am a husband and father. I “gave up” many traditional showings and trappings of success so that I could help guide, nurture and nourish my family. I use the quotations because it was no great sacrifice. It was an honor. It was my honor.

Anyone who knows me will attest this is a grand end, for I infinitely prefer my personal roles now than any I have ever held, or now hold, in the traditional business, corporate and political spaces. I have always felt collared, leashed, by wearing ties. I am now free because of, not in spite of, my responsibilities.

What I can do, what I hope I am best remembered for, is in the creation of a reality where my wife, where my children, can remember and know that their husband and father, respectively, was in fact just that: A husband. A father.

Facts he treasured more than 21 million bitcoin. More than the sun, the moon, and the stars.

More than life itself.

I beam.

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